Stronger

My heart bursts and breaks

For all the pain that exists

And I'm reminded

That to forge a new path

Is to be open

To new ways of being

And dedicated

To my own well-being

It isn't easy

Because it goes against

The momentum

That society has created

My desire

Is large enough

To keep me going

I can't live here

In the way that's expected

I can only be here

If I love myself

Wholly and completely 

Against the will

Of a society

Whose only desire

Is to exploit me

Healing

As I move through

Deep and heavy energy

I'm reminded

That the path I'm on

Is new

Is one that I'm creating as I go

Is one that honors me

Every step of the way

As I heal

I don't become like anyone else

I become more like myself

And who I am

Is deep

And sensitive

And emotional

Someone who feels more

Than she can speak

Letting Go

Feeling better

Feeling lighter

A reminder

To release energy that isn't mine

This world is heavy

To be here

Demands a certain amount

Of letting go

Relationships

I won't engage

In blame

And pointing fingers

Human beings make mistakes

Is there love?

Was it an accident?

Was it on purpose?

What was the intention behind it?

Was it selfish?

Was it misguided?

Was it unaware?

Relationships

Are rooted in our ability to relate

Are we relating?

Or are we keeping score?

Love Is Protection

The only way to prove

That something doesn't work

Is to let it crash and burn

The more abuse is revealed

The less we can point the finger at people

And the more we are forced to see

That the system breeds abuse

Our culture breeds abuse

The only thing wrong with people

Is their need to adapt to an inhumane system

That demands them to be less human

Be less human

Feel less

Care less

Love less

People are looking for love

In all the wrong places

Amongst each other's sad and broken pieces

You can manipulate others to do your bidding

But you cannot manipulate love

The only way

To have power over others

Is to prey on their insecurities

Once people know love

Manipulation becomes empty

Once people heal

They see 

That abuse comes from unhealed trauma

They see

That to love themselves

Is to protect themselves

And to stand up for others

Trusting Myself

I know now

That's where I find myself

I know

How traumatized people are

How toxic people are

I know

Not to get too close

Not to allow other people's trauma

To rub off on me

I can't save anyone

I can only be a friend

So I know

To keep my distance

To protect my energy

To love myself first

I know now

That everything I grew up with

Was backwards

And now I trust myself

What Now?

Now I know

Now I see

The child

Who was unhappy

Lethargic

Unmotivated

Cynical

Apathetic

Hateful

I see her now

And I hold her in love

Because it wasn't her fault

My reaction to this world

Is appropriate

My inability to function here

Is appropriate

My debilitation

Has been appropriate

I'm finding my way

To a reality that works for me

But I can only get there

Through loving myself

I am too sensitive for this world

But this world

Creates monsters

I would rather be depressed and debilitated

Than be a monster

My reaction to this world

Is valid and appropriate

And that's what I want everyone to know

Yes

People are truly awful

But this world made them that way

So what the fuck

Do we do now?