Thursday, August 19, 2021

Holding Onto Goodness

I turn to the outside world

And find little that inspires

Little

That talks about what I want to talk about

Little

That is hopeful

It doesn't matter which side of anything you are on

It is all rooted in fear

And while there is a lot to be afraid of

A lot to be sad about

A lot of pain and anger and hatred

I just can't reside there

And I'm sorry

I'm truly sorry to anyone who takes that personally

Who thinks that I should

Take on the world's pain

Who feels the unbearable weight of all of it

It's just that

I truly believe

That if every single one of us

Found something positive to focus on

Found something good to expand

That 

Would be the thing to change everything

I know we are being told what to fixate on

It's just that

This society has never served us

This society was built on lies

From the get-go

And it's only been harmful

Existing in pain is simply unsustainable

The horror is endless and awful

It's endless and awful

I'm not saying we should ignore it

But I'm asking

Where are our efforts most bountiful?

Where is the change most profound and accessible?

It is easy to feel burdened and despair

That is the easiest thing to feel, in my opinion

I think

When it all gets too much

And there is nothing to do but give up

I think that's when we learn

That sometimes

Starting small is something

Loving yourself is something

Loving your family is something

Loving your community is something

Nurturing goodness around you

Is something

When you can't fix the whole world

Starting where you are

Is something

And from there

Who knows what else could come

Some of us are in more powerful positions than others

I don't believe that change is up to me alone

And I don't believe that I'm the only one who cares

I know

That people have been fighting for goodness for centuries

The fact that it's an uphill battle

Is profoundly disconcerting

But we're still here

And we're learning

And we're growing

And I believe

That although darkness seems like the easiest thing

I think there is more light than we know

I've lived in darkness my whole life

Which is why

I simply can't reside there anymore

I do believe in goodness

I've found it many times

And I'm learning

That the more light I hold onto

The brighter it shines

I take the time

To root darkness out of my system

Because in my experience

It's in the letting go

Where change is allowed to take form

When I let go of what was and what I thought

Could or should be

I open myself up to change in a new way

A way that isn't forced

But is nurtured and grown

It's going to take all types

And all ways

But in my experience

Change is inevitable

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