Something Different

They say

"Be the light you wish to see in the world"

"Don't look at physical reality to know your desires"

The world is a shit show

I've known it forever

For as long as I've been alive

I can't remember a time

When I was satisfied

Until now

Right now in this moment

When I stopped trying

The universe gifted me a home

And infinite time and space

I kept trying to do and be something

But she kept telling me to go back to bed

Go back to bed

Go back to bed

We've been gifted this time to rest

But people are so resistant

That's how you know

Capitalism has infiltrated our minds and bodies

To the point

Where we can't rest

We can't be

We can't allow ourselves to just

Exist

We have to mean something

And in order to mean something

We have to constantly be doing

My life became devoid of all meaning

When I tried living for other people

So what does it mean to live for yourself?

Absolutely nothing

We exist

Only in relation to the collective

But the collective

Is so dead set

On destroying itself

So I come up here in my infinite abyss

And I hold love

I just hold it

I let it permeate throughout my being and flow to whoever needs it

That's all

It's easy and it's simple and it's lovely here

It's so lovely

I want everyone to know this kind of love

But then I look at reality and I see

How futile it is to make people understand something

That is meant to be effortless

Everything

Is meant to be easy

But we have been so conditioned for hardship

We can't let ourselves be

So I've decided

To let myself exist in the ether for awhile

Without saying goodbye to my body

Because people need to understand

That when people choose to leave

It's because they can't reconcile their soul's cry for goodness

And the harsh reality of what is

Don't judge

What you don't understand

More of us call out for death than we'd like to admit

We're supposed to enjoy this?

This hell?

That everyone collectively creates?

The only thing I see people enjoying

Is simplicity

Art

Beauty

In my cocoon

I absorb all the goodness that I know exists

I've stopped wishing for things that feel too far away

And I've started just

Living

The life I want to live

Isn't that what all the self-help books say?

Seize the day

Believe in yourself

Manifest your dreams

Do we ever move out of needing

And finally dive into knowing?

Having?

Believing?

Feeling

Satisfied?

That's what I want

Peace and satisfaction

That wherever I am

Is perfect

And can be exactly what I want it to be

In each and every perfect moment

I've decided

To let go of whatever people have decided is reality

And see what happens

When I believe in something different