A Woman's Worth

We are born

And immediately taught that we exist for others

I felt anger

I felt injustice

And was told I was the problem

Over and over and over again

My brain

Constantly calculating

Constantly assessing all sides of a situation

Constantly questioning

"Am I the problem?"

I felt like the problem

I kept feeling like the problem

Why was I the only one

Who could ever see what was wrong

And say it out loud?

And why

Did that make me a problem?

My questions have been answered

My experience

As a woman

Comforts my inner child

Who felt neglected and abandoned

Validates my inner teenager

Who was angry and resentful

And heals my inner young adult

Who felt lost and lifeless

I carry the pain, the loneliness, the ache

The anger, the resentment, the loss

I carry it all

In my heart, in my skin, in my organs

In my nervous system

Every part of my psyche

Is connected to every part of the rest of my body

And as I heal

Each and every wound

That threatened to kill me

My body starts to believe something different

The loss becomes interlaced with being found

The complexity of emotions and experience

Start to swirl around each other

Everything hurts

And everything feels magnificent

All at the same time

I realize

There's power in my Autonomy

In my Self

There is power

In my kindness and in my anger

In my love and in my resentment

In my knowledge and in my intuition

There is power

In knowing my own Self

In choosing the Self I want to align with

In choosing the environments

I believe are worthy of me

And that I am worthy of

There is power in claiming what I never had

Never knew

Never experienced

There is power in who I am

In the way I make people uncomfortable

With my words and intelligence

With my anger

Yes, I do have a right to be angry

No, I don't care

If you wish to stereotype me

Because you are afraid of my intelligence

My discernment

The way I can judge your character

You should be afraid of me

Because I can cut you up into pieces if I want to

No, I'm not afraid 

Of being alone

Because I lived my entire life alone

Surrounded by people

I am more loved, more cared for, more seen and more appreciated

As my own person

Than I ever was

Trying to appease those I would never be able to 

Because I was never the type of woman

They wanted me to be

That would make them comfortable

I reject all tropes of "womanhood" placed upon me

Because I see the oppressive contradictions that exist to suffocate me

And I will not play that game

Women are rediscovering

Their Divinity

You should be scared

Because We Are Angry