Wednesday, September 17, 2025

The Male Contradiction

I am

An angry woman

And yet my home is peaceful

My interactions are kind

My relationships are loving

My mind is focused and clear

I am an angry woman

Only when pushed

Only when disrespected

Over and over and over again

I am angry

After a lifetime of being undermined and underestimated

How long does it take for a man to become angry?

The moment he doesn't get his way?

The moment he isn't regarded as the best or smartest in the room?

The moment

He doesn't get his expected spotlight and applause?

A man's anger

Despite it being the greatest source of destruction on our planet

Is somehow

Normalized

And rationalized

Oh the way men love to rationalize their violence

Men cling to patriarchy the way white people cling to white supremacy

Even the "good" ones can't give up their precious seat

At the head of the table

Equality feels like oppression

When you're accustomed to privilege

The irony of it all

Is that the most privileged perpetuate their own unhappiness

Dear men,

Dear white people,

Dear white men,

We all suffer under white supremacist patriarchy

You are no happier at the top

Than you are when you are called out for the harm you perpetuate

To step aside

To 

Make

Space

For literally anyone else

Dear men,

Dear white people,

Dear white men,

You would be so much happier

If you could be kind, and empathetic, and loving, and caring

You don't know

The fulfillment of reciprocity

Of intimacy

You don't know

That when you care for others

They'll care for you

Not because you force them to

Not because you manipulate or coerce

Or beat them into submission

But because they care about you

Because caring

Begets caring

You wouldn't believe

How simple it is

How possible it is

To live a life imbued with love

Instead of power

The world the rest of us envision

Includes a version of you

That is kinder and more loving and caring

A version of you

That seeks out joy

Instead of pain

You don't know

That when we fight for ourselves

We're fighting for you too

You're the only ones

Who think you are alone

Because you make yourselves alone

It's lonely at the top

We don't envy you

We are worried about you

Because your violence and manipulation and control

Are symptoms of a much deeper

Scarier problem

You have internalized our violent, twisted system

To worry for ourselves

Is to worry for you

You are sinking this ship

Willfully

You are forcing the rest of us

To exclude you

Because you are unwilling to listen or adapt

You are missing out

And you know it

So you want to make us suffer

We all see the terrors of this world

We've already been suffering

We have been glazed under the fire

We have courage

Because we know what life is like without it

We aren't better or stronger or more insightful than you

We have simply experienced more

And your inability to learn from us

Puts you at a disadvantage

What the colonizer doesn't write in history books

Is that there has never been a time of oppression

Without its continuous resistance

They love to depict their "conquered" as inherently weak and submissive

Inherently less than

But at no point in time

Has the oppressed ever accepted their oppression

The "progress" we have made

Is the progress of resistance against repeated oppression

It makes us smarter and cleverer and wiser

We learn from experience

You will never fully conquer this world

We will never go quietly and peacefully

And it begs the question

Why are you so dead set on domination?

Why is that so important to you?

Why do you need a constant struggle?

Why do you need to hoard your treasure

When there is plenty for everyone?

You could be so much happier

If you learned how to share

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